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10 Tips to Help You Tell Seasonal Depression to Fuck Off

I have noticed lately how glum and low I have been feeling as the weather has darkened as autumn has arrived. Of course it doesn’t help that I live in London. Quite a lot of Londoners complain during the summer that it is too hot and they struggle to cool down. Mother Nature’s response to this complaint is to introduce grey clouds which blend in with the different shades of grey of London buildings. Personally I think any colour that can be found seems to fade away unless a ray of sunlight manages to force its way through. Plants, lights, and anything that could remind me of the warmth and comfort of summer fail to exist to me as the cold creeps nearer.  I realise how bleak and unattractive my attitude towards London in autumn is, especially because in comparison to other places to live mine is not bad at all. I know that my downbeat outlook is because autumn brings with it the most unwelcome of guests: Seasonal Affective Disorder.

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The First Time I Wore My Human Mask

The reasons why I had to attend my first counselling sessions are hazy to me.  On another day I will clarify the reasons why with my parents. As far as I can remember I was referred to a counsellor because I had struggled with the news of my parents’ separation. I was around the age of thirteen, and I remember how devastated I was. I remember wrapping myself in a duvet, lying on the sofa while leaving the television on in the background. I felt like someone had torn apart my life and everything I knew. I wasn’t watching anything; I was just staring into the ceiling. This was one of the rare times I was furious with my dad. I blamed him.